I Want My $40, Mr. VH1

I've been watching the occasional episode of I Love the 80s: Strikes Back on VH1. It's surprising how much stuff I forgot about the 80s, even though I lived through them. If you haven't seen the show, the basic format is this. An 80s person/event/video/fad/whatever is brought up and various actors, musicians, and comedians talk about said thing. It is at least somewhat more amusing than it sounds. Anyhow, one of the guys on this show is Michael Ian Black. He's apparently on that show Ed, which I've never seen. Anyhow, he's all over this show (and the I Love the 70s one too). I watching him and thinking, "I know this guy from somewhere." It nags me, but I can't figure it out.

A few weeks ago the local Seattle arts paper had an ad for upcoming appearance from a comedy group whose name escapes me. Michael Ian Black was part of the group and under his name it says, "From MTV's the State." That rings a bell. The State was a comedy group that got its start at NYU while I was going there. In fact, one of my old roommates had been in the State. I wondered if this was the same guy. He seemed familiar but the name was all wrong.

Well, thank god for obsessive internet fans. I found a history of the State website that chronicled the group back to its genesis, going so far as to specify the dates of when they played at Judson Hall and the like. This site noted that back then Michael Ian Black was known as Michael Schwartz. That's when the bells went off. Michael Schwartz, that was my fucking roommate. He seemed sort of familiar to me because I lived with him for nine months! Imagine that.

This was my junior year at NYU and I was living in Hayden Hall, a dorm right on Washington Square. I had a single room that year, but it was within a larger suite. I shared a kitchen and bathroom with Schwartz and this guy Rick (who's last name I've forgotten). We also shared a phone and it was in my name. Big mistake. End of the year comes, both Rick and Mike tell me they'll send me checks for the last months phone bill. What do you know both those assholes stiffed me. I never saw either of them again.

If he comes to Seattle again, I think I may crash his gig. I'm sure he'd be perplexed if someone started shouting out, "I want my $40, Mr. VH1!" In the meantime I can comfort myself with this thought: he may have ripped me off for $40 but he had to listen to me have sex all year long while his girlfriend was in New Jersey. Touché.

Stop Staring At Me, You Freaky Ghoul!

I know the media can't resist a good Michael Jackson story. Or even a bad one, as those of you who remember the New York Post's headline "Jacko On His Back-o" can attest. But can I please stop seeing pictures of that freaky ghoul every time I sign on to check my e-mail, open a frickin' magazine, and or turn on the TV? There's so little of his original face left that he seriously looks undead. It reminds me of the first time I went to Las Vegas and was confronted by a 50-foot billboard of Siegfried and Roy looking like a pair of liches. If seeing huge renditions the walking dead duo was supposed to entice to me to see their show, it did not work (although Nik and I did visit their hilariously named "Secret Garden" to see the tigers).

Is Jackson a child molester? Hell if I know. His "Neverland" surely must make one raise an eyebrow. At this point, with all the allegations and all the hush up money, the cops either need to prove something or vindicate the guy. Maybe he's just a rich freak, I don't know. I do know that "freak engages in freaky behavior" is not news.

Bring Those Guys Over Here

Thanksgiving, 2003: Bring Those Guys Over Here

I've been trying hard not to work today. I figure it's a holiday and I deserve a day off. It's hard to escape the feeling that I ought to be doing something productive though. So while I went to go look at the review of one of our new books today, I stopped as soon as I got to the part where the reviewer 1) notes other companies have covered a similar topic and 2) then complains that didn't do exactly what they did (and the point of that would be?). No, I did not read on, I just closed the window and said, "Fuck it, today I'm not working."

So, no game industry crap today. Instead, let's talk about Georgia. No, not the state, the country. There's an interesting article from the Washington Post about the recent success of their opposition movement, which bloodlessly deposed long-time politico Eduard Shevardnadze. The Georgian opposition was apparently inspired by the revolution that swept Yugoslavia's president, Slobodan Milosevic, from power in October 2000. The Georgians traveled to meet with leaders of the Serb resistance (and vice versa) and many were trained in the techniques used in Belgrade. The Georgians also got a TV station to twice run a documentary about the ouster of Milosevic, which further helped spread knowledge of the tactics used. According to the article:

"Most important was the film," said Ivane Merabishvili, general secretary of the National Movement party that led the revolt. "All the demonstrators knew the tactics of the revolution in Belgrade by heart because they showed . . . the film on their revolution. Everyone knew what to do. This was a copy of that revolution, only louder."

So here's what I'm thinking. If the election next year is also stolen, we fly some Serbs and Georgians over here to teach their tactics, then head off to Washington. And seeing as how criminals like Jeb Bush and Katherine Harris have not be prosecuted (to the contrary, stripping people of their voting rights was a great career move for Harris) for their despicable actions in 2000, I see no reason to feel assured that the current administration will give up its stranglehold on Washington.

Now one key fact about both of the revolutions above is that the US and Russia were involved, sending diplomats to say, "You're done, buddy, time to move along." I'm sure this helped things along. Trouble is there's only one superpower these days. There's no one to send an ambassador to DC to say, "Bush, Cheney, Rummy, you're out, chuckleheads."

Maybe I shouldn't be so cynical. Then again the shenanigans surrounding Bush's Omnibus Appropriations Bill and the huge problems and conflicts of interest surrounding computer voting terminals does not make me feel optimistic.

Ahead of My Time

As many of you know, I was involved in Wizards of the Coast's first forays into miniatures (i.e. toy soldiers). I spent two years working on a game called Chainmail, only to see it cancelled nine months after its debut and one week before it received at Origins Award. One of the struggles we faced trying to launch a game that used traditional, pewter miniatures was that Mage Knight launched about a year before Chainmail. Mage Knight was a game that used pre-painted plastic miniatures that were sold randomly in sealed boxes (so you never knew what you were going to get). To be honest, I thought Mage Knight was a stupid idea when I heard it. Who in their right mind would pay for box of minis when you didn't even know what figure you would get?

Of course, I was dead wrong and the game was a big hit. So big that the WotC brass were just dying to get a piece of that action. They wanted to know if we'd be making 10 million dollars the first year. We were honest and they didn't like that answer. They kept asking if we could do a game like Mage Knight. Some wanted to change Chainmail into a Mage Knight clone. I thought that would be a bad idea. Eventually, a big meeting was called in the executive boardroom to discuss the future of minis. We had more VPs than you could shake a stick at, sales people, marketing people, brand people, and even a game designer or two. My opposition to the changing Chainmail was well known, so when the CEO wanted to hear an opposing point of view, everyone in the room looked at me. I argued that changing Chainmail would piss off a lot of fans that were already dubious about WotC doing minis at all. I told them I understood why they wanted to try a pre-painted plastic game, but that Chainmail was not the game to do it with. However, there was a property, to which WotC already owned the minis rights, that would be ideal for this venture.

Star Wars. Maybe you've heard of it.

Despite the fact that huge advances had already been paid to Lucasfilm and that the RPG was not exactly burning up the charts, reception to my idea was lukewarm at best. The consensus was that doing that game would be no good because then WotC would have to give Lucas a cut of the money. I wondered, at that moment, if anyone had considered this while negotiating the license to begin with. Surely it occurred to someone that licenses involve paying royalties.

Anyhow, my idea was trounced on and never discussed again. The meeting wasn't a disaster though. Since they didn't want to pay fees and WotC was part of Hasbro, it was decided to look at some Hasbro brands for a possible game. It didn't take long to settle on G.I. Joe. Certainly an IP with strong recognition and popular for a long time. While the "Joe vs. Cobra" iteration was frankly lame in my opinion, I could see how it'd make a good intro product that would hopefully create new gamers. As fate would have it, I was assigned as lead designer for this project.

No more than two weeks later, the brand people wanted to do market research on the game. WotC has a testing facility with two-way mirrors onsite, so they were going to bring in several groups of 10-12 year olds over two days to try the game. I would hand teach them the game and run them through it once, then I'd leave the room and we'd see if they could play it again by themselves. The problem: there was no game yet. I spent the next week whipping together enough rules and material to run the tests. While I was dubious about a test of this sort when design had barely begun, it turned out to be quite instructive. We got some good feedback from the kids, and they really seemed to take to the core ideas of the game.

About a month after I was given the task of designing this game, there was another meeting in the executive conference room. This time the minis brand manager was presenting his business plan for the G.I. Joe minis game. I was away (at a con, I think) so I missed the meeting. Honestly, I thought it would be a slam dunk, even considering the ineptitude of the brand manager. We were all surprised to hear that the WotC brass didn't want to go forward with the game because there was going to be no new G.I. Joe cartoon. If it wasn't on TV, they argued, it wasn't worth doing. This is what happens to a company that achieves a success like the Pokemon TCG, I guess. Turning up their noses at one of the strongest toy brands in the world because it doesn't have a current TV show? Astounding.

Oh, and here's the best part. We had pitched a launch date of August, 2001. Gee, do you think a game where "a real American hero" fights Cobra terrorists would have struck any kind of chord after the 9/11 attacks? Think maybe it would have sold pretty well that Christmas Season? Yeah, me too.

So it is with some amusement that I reflect on two recent announcements. First, WotC is going to do a G.I. Joe trading card game. Guess they changed their mind about that TV show requirement. I also heard today that the just-released WotC 2004 catalog includes a new pre-painted collectible miniatures game. That's right, it's Star Wars.

How times have changed.

I'm So Postmodern

Last night I found myself reading Noam Chomsky's latest book while watching the Behind the Music episode about the Spice Girls. Such are the contradictions of life in the new century, I guess.

I've been working hard the past week to get Book of Fiends finished and I'm almost there. I don't want to jinx anything but I'm feeling like I'm only one hurdle away from getting caught up. If I can finish up the Nocturnals book this week too, I think Green Ronin's entire schedule can regularize. Tonight I was writing up sales text for our April releases and was delighted to note that all necesarry manuscripts are done and in editing already. That is a nice feeling.

We're also perilously close to closing some deals we've been working on for some time. December may be a good month.

Half a Weekend Is Better Than None

Been up my eyeballs in the Book of Fiends all week, after finishing up Black Sails Over Freeport (which is at print, wohoo). Felt a real need to get out last night, so when Ray Winninger invited Nik and I over for dinner and drinks by the fireplace I gladly accepted. Its been micky fricky cold here of late, so the fireplace was appreciated. After several hours of booze and conversation, Nik dozed off and Christine went upstairs to bed. Ray and I then had one of our epic talks about the game industry and game design. Few of my peers these days have the breadth of knowledge and experience that Ray does, so I always enjoy these talks. Nicole roused at 2:30 in the morning and we drove home.

I was awoken today by the burgler alarm; odd, because it wasn't even on. I went downstairs and discovered that it was beeping because the power was out. Doh. I decided that since the house was already freezing, the best thing to do would be to go back to bed and hope it fixed itself by the time I got up. My slothful plan was vindicated. I no sooner sat upright in bed then the house powered up. Ah, sloth, the underrated sin.

Nik and I went to see Mike Daisey's play, 21 Dog Years, in the afternoon. It was inspired by Mike's time working at Amazon and it's really quite funny. Actually made WotC seem tame by comparison, as its worst corporate excesses were nothing compared to Amazon.

Late in the afternoon, we stopped at Barnes and Noble for awhile and then went to our friend Tim's house. Time works for Microsoft, has a brand new big house with a huge tv and surround sound, and he was offering up the extended Two Towers for viewing. He and some of his other friends had started early with the Fellowship. Luckily, we showed up between flicks. I may write in more detail about the Two Towers later (or not) but to sum up:

The same things that bugged me in the theater bugged me still (Gimli as laughing stock, adding in new material for no good reason, endless speeches of doom, mischaracterization of Theoden and the Rohirrim), and the extras didn't seem to make this as good as the Fellowship redo. My favorite addition was the Huorns, who I missed in the original. Adding them in took all of two minutes and I would much rather have had them in the movie the first time around instead of a fourth "speech of doom". Faramir's action made a lot more sense with the extra material, though I still question the need for the change in his character and the whole ridiculous Osgiliath sequence. Still not as good as the first movie. I hope the Return of the King is better.

Tomorrow it's back to the Book of Fiends. Got to finish my development pass so I can finally finish the Nocturnals books. Got way too much to do to still be mucking about with that book.

Credit Where It's Due

I've always been a great believer in credit where it's due. When I was freelancing, I always appreciated the companies that would put my name on the cover of a book I had written and I've made sure to follow that practice at Green Ronin. I was frankly a little surprised to find how good Wizards of the Coast is at this sort of thing, at least in general. If you look at the credits of the 3E Oriental Adventures, for instance, author James Wyatt lists titles and authors for all his direct sources, down to the level of Dragon Magazine articles from 10+ years ago. Sometimes, WotC has even given more credit than is due. For example, if you look in the Chainmail rule booklet, you'll see a bunch of guys credited with "original design" or somesuch. Those guys worked on a Heroquest-styled boardgame before there WotC did minis and honestly very little of what they did had any bearing on the Chainmail rules. Nonetheless, they were duly credited.

So imagine my surprise to look over a copy of the new WotC minis rules and discover that no mention of Chainmail or its design team is made. From what I hear from people on the inside, a conscious effort was made to distance the new game from Chainmail, even though the rules are clearly Chainmail 2.0. While I can sympathize with their concerns (I wouldn’t want to release a product tied to a previous failed product either) I can't imagine a simple credit or even a special thanks would have infected the new game with the corpse-smell of failure.

I saw that rulebook back at San Diego Comic Con in July and it got me a little riled up, but I let is pass. Recently, the Miniatures Handbook came out. This one took it a step further. It includes rules for running a skirmish campaign, and those rules come directly from the Ghostwind Campaign, a Chainmail book I was lead designer on. Now WotC has every right to use that material. They own it after all. But this time they went so far as to use my actual writing (and I know this because the book uses the same examples from Ghostwind, complete with the names of my gaming group!) and again do not credit me or the Ghostwind Campaign as a source. Nor did anyone think to send me a copy.

I think the miniatures team at WotC could learn a little something from the rest of the company.

Ramen: Comfort Food for the "Me" Generation

"Eating ramen" has become a sort of short hand for "I work in the game industry." It's one of those long time jokes that lasts because it's sadly based in reality. (The other big one of these is, "Do you know how to make a small fortune in the game industry? Start with a large one!"). Funny thing is, even when I was eating on $15 a week, I didn't eat ramen. Maybe because I had a lot of it as a kid.

Recently, Nicole brought home some ramen. It was 10 for a dollar and she figured Kate (who is nearly 8) might like it. And indeed, Kate loved it and asked for more. What's funnier is that Nicole and I have started eating it again. There was one day, when it was especially cold in the house, that we made ramen, got under the covers, and watched an old Bogey flick together. We both found ourselves digging on the ramen. It was so familiar, so reminiscent of childhood. It was like a comfort food for kids who grew up in the 70s.

We had to laugh about the situation. If there's one thing we like to do, it's spend too much money on fancy eating. We wanted a new couch two years ago, for example, and we still don't have one. We've have joked that we've "eaten the couch" three times over by this point. Maybe if the ramen-eating continues, we'll get that couch in 2004!

Dulles Speaks from the Grave

Foreign affairs has put up a very interesting article. It comes from the Council on Foreign Relations archive. In 1945 "superspook" Allen Dulles (a station chief for the OSS and later the head of the CIA) gave a talk to the CFR about the post-war situation in Germany. Quite relevant in light of the current situation in Iraq. Of particular interest is the section where he talks about the difficulties of rebuilding the country without using former members of the Nazi party. The US is taking a similar stance with former members of the Bath Party. Or how about this quote?

"If we do not find some work for the Germans and if we do not solve the refugee problem, the Germans will have their revenge in one form or another though it takes a hundred years."

Sheer Terror and Sheer Futility

One of my favorite bands "back in the day" was Government Issue from, appropriately enough, Washington D.C.. They were one of the few bands from the Class of '81 to actually stay together for any amount of time, releasing a string of excellent records throughout the 80s. I saw GI many times and they were a great live band as well. I knew they were going to break up the last time I saw them, at the Pyramid in NYC, because they so clearly lacked the aggressive energy that had made their previous live shows so memorable.

While I have a large amount of GI vinyl, I nonetheless picked up their Complete History Volume 1 double CD set awhile back. I've had in on heavy rotation lately and it's great stuff. But even I, a diehard GI fan, cannot fathom why they felt the need to put FIVE different versions of the song Sheer Terror on here, four of them on disc one. I like that song as much as the next punk, but I don't need to hear it four times every hour each time I play disc one! GI frontman John Stabb was notorious for dressing and acting in ways calculated to annoy people (and indeed that is what Sheer Terror is all about), so I guess this is his way of ensuring his spirit lives on.

On the Sheer Futility front, I've just put up a new article called Prophet of the Sleepers in the Game Writing sidebar to your right. This is an adventure I wrote for the Legend of the Five Rings RPG back in 1997 that was never published. You can find out why (well, at least somewhat) in the introduction to the article. Enjoy.

Gladiator vs. the French

Nik, Kate, and I saw Master and Commander tonight. As it turned out, not the best movie for an 8 year old. The ads played up the action sequences and made it seem more "yo ho" than it actually was. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I found it an excellent film and much more than the action movie it's advertised as.

Being a big fan of stuff like Sharpe and Hornblower, this was right up my alley. In 1805 Captain Aubrey (Crowe) of the Royal Navy is tasked with hunting down a French privateer. Off the coast of Brazil, the privateer ambushes him and it's only through luck and determination that Aubrey and crew escape. The rest of the movie centers on the Brits chasing down the French ship. The problem: said French ship outguns and outcrews the "HMS Surprise" two to one.

What surprised me was that most of the movie is given over to plot and character development. There are battle sequences at the beginning and end, but the rest of the movie centers on the crew of the Surprise and their assorted trials. Paul Bettany (who Nicole recognized right away as Chaucer from A Knight's Tale; I didn't place him) was very good as the doctor and naturalist. He also played William of Orange in the film of Sharpe's Waterloo, so this is not his first outing in the era. An actor named Max Pirkis put in a good performance as a young midshipman who loses his arm in the first engagement. His character was what the Star Trek writers always wanted Wesley Crusher to be like: earnest, smart, kind, loyal, and brave (whereas Wesley always just came across as annoying; apologies to my wife and Mr. Wheaton!). Crowe is also good. He has a knack for playing a leader of men. It worked in Gladiator and it works here too.

The history nerd in me was also satisfied. Period detail was very good. They got the weapons right and the hand to hand combats were suitably chaotic and bloody. The film also did a good job of evoking the camaraderie and superstitions of shipboard life.

In short, good stuff. Makes me wish I had had more success two years ago when I tried to get the RPG license for the Sharpe's series. Or maybe I'm the only one who would have liked to see a d20 game of Napoleonic adventure.

I Wanna Be Sedated

Or maybe I already am. It's the end of a long day and I feel numb. I had every intention of spending the afternoon proofing and developing the next book on the docket. Then I started tallying up what we owe contractors this month, which led to check writing and envelope addressing. Owed some of the same folks contracts for new projects, so then it was on to contract writing. Other freelancers needed books for reference or were owed comps, so soon I was taping up packages. In between there was an avalanche of e-mail: project questions from freelancers, interview requests from websites, continuing contract negotiations, new material for the website, proposals for new books, questions about old books, approval requests for M&M Superlink books, and inane bullshit from several different game industry mailing lists. Went to the post office briefly with Nicole. That's the only time I got out today. At dinner time, I had a meeting about this month's problem child project. After 8 I finally got a bite to eat. Then spent the later part of the evening analyzing spreadsheets Nicole had worked up.

Tomorrow I'll get to that book. And after that, the next one.

Things You Learn From Memoirs

Oftentimes, when you read about WW2, a sharp distinction is drawn between the Eastern and Western Fronts. In the East both the Germans and the Soviets executed prisoners outright, or worked/starved them to death. The Western Front is portrayed as a more "civilized war", where events like the Malmedy Massacre were the exception not the rule. Americans especially don't like to think of "our boys" acting like murderers but war is dirty business. While the Eastern Front in general was more brutal in many respects, that doesn't mean that Western Front was without its horrors.

Recently, I've been reading several memoirs of American paratroopers and what I'm finding most interesting is not the particulars of what battles they fought in, but the attitudes that shine through the text. Both books, David Kenyon Webster's Parachute Infantry and Donald R. Burgett's Currahee: A Screaming Eagle at Normandy, are fascinating in different ways. Webster was a member of the famous Easy Company of the 506th PIR, 101st Airborne Division, and is a character in the Band of Brothers mini series. He was a Harvard educated Democrat who joined the paratroops so he could experience the war as a grunt. Burgett, in Able Company of the same regiment, was of humbler origins and he had an eagerness for combat that Webster seems to have lacked. Each has an anecdote that bears repeating.

Webster relates an incident from the Normandy battles. He and his unit were advancing when a German jeep came barreling down the road. It was painted with red crosses and had two stretchers strapped on it with wounded men. Webster's squad were taken by surprise and just stared at it as it drove by. Down the road, an American officer flagged it down. Turns out the German medic took a wrong turn while trying to get these severely wounded men to an aid station. Webster matter-of-factly notes that the medic was shot on the spot because he had a pistol in his belt (technically, a no-no for medics, but an often ignored rule). Then the American officer had the two stretchers taken off the jeep, which he commandeered for his own use. The two wounded Germans were left to die by the side of the road.

Burgett's story also comes from the Normandy battles. He and a 30 or so other paratroopers succeeded in capturing a fortified French town from several hundred German troops. In the process, they captured around 75 prisoners. At first, the prisoners were locked in a church. Later, as more American troops showed up and they began pushing up the road, they ran into stiffer German resistance. Someone then had the bright idea of getting all the prisoners and marching them up the road in front of the Americans. They hoped the Germans wouldn't fire on their own soldiers. They were wrong. Once bullets started flying, the prisoners began diving off the road. Burgett then relates how he and the other paratroops weren't about to let any of them escape, so they began firing into the prisoners from behind. Caught in a vicious crossfire, all the prisoners were killed.

While it is perhaps no surprise that awful things happen in war, what I found most interesting is that both of these incidents pass without comment from the authors. They don't seem to think that this kind of behavior was unusual at all, or anything worth feeling regretful about. That is at odds with the picture frequently painted about the Western Front in WW2.

Since it's Veteran's Day and all, let me close with an appropriate quote from Robert E. Lee.

"It is well that war is so terrible or we would grow too fond of it."

Work's Over, Time for Work

I just got back from a weekend in the Bay Area. I was down there as part of a promotion for GenCon Southern California (which is next month). Basically, Peter Adkison, who owns GenCon now, has been going to a different city each weekend and making promo stops at assorted game stores. Green Ronin was invited to participate and I chose the San Francisco/Sacramento leg of the tour. I stayed with my old comrade Aaron Loeb, who in addition to being a dear old friend is also the author of Book of the Righteous. Aaron was kind enough to drive me to the stores and help me promote Green Ronin. We visited four stores, one Friday, two Saturday, and one Sunday. We spent 2-3 hours at each store, meeting people, answering questions, handing out catalogs and the like. It's also always interesting to talk to the store owners and managers and get their perspective on things, especially the folks that run outstanding stores (and two of those visited qualify). While the start was a bit rocky (turns out the first store was 99% minis, 1% RPGs), it got better at each stop and I'm glad I went.

The store we were at today, Great Escape Games in Sacramento, had a selection of Osprey books in addition to game stuff. Needing some reading for the plane ride, I selected World War I Trench Warfare, 1916-1918. Read the whole thing on the way home and it was quite interesting. The more I read about WWI, the more I think that the accepted truths about it are complete horseshit. I would elaborate, but it's late and I'm tired.

Tomorrow, on to the next GR book (finished the previous one Friday before I left). No R&R this week I guess.

100 Bullets, No Waiting

I grew up in a suburb of Boston, Peabody to be precise. While guns were something I saw on TV and in movies, they were never part of my real life. The closest I got to an actual gun growing up was an old BB pistol my dad had in his desk drawer and it didn't work anyway. Nonetheless, I've had an abiding interest in military history, and WW2 history in particular, since I was a lad. This is a bit unusual for someone as lefty as I am, which has led to some fairly amusing situations. For example, I've been a member of the Military Book Club for years and the MBC has obviously sold my mailing address to a variety of right wing organizations. I get mailings all the time from the likes of the NRA, and occasionally real wacko newsletters from groups that are one step away from blaming ZOG for all America's troubles. I look at them, chuckle, and dump them in the recycling bin.

Last year I was designing a World War 2 roleplaying game for Polyhedron Magazine, originally titled Dogface but eventually named V For Victory. I was, as is my habit, doing lots of research. I think I easily spent $300 buying books during that period. One of the chapters was all about guns, so I got pretty familiar with the ins and outs of period weapons. When I was in Las Vegas in March, 2002, I heard about a place that had WW2 guns you could rent out and fire on their shooting range. I didn't have much interest in shooting modern weapons, but this was intriguing. That September I was back in Vegas, with Nicole and our friends Jess and Kathryn. I had told Jess about the gun place and he was curious as well. The two of us decided to head out there one afternoon and check it out. And hey, I could write it off as research.

I had met Jess when I was working at Wizards of the Coast. He worked in the book publishing department, where he was in charge of the Magic: the Gathering novel line. Like me, Jess was (and is) of a lefty bent and we got on famously. As fate would have it, we both got laid off on the same day (along with scores of other folks). We began to joke that we were "layoff brothers." Could "machinegun brothers" be far behind?

On a hot, bright Vegas day, we took a cab out to the gun shop. It was some way off the Strip, which was no surprise. It was pretty small inside, but nonetheless there were a good six staff members behind the counters. All of them were wearing bulletproof vests and carrying sidearms. One guy had on cowboy boots, an Old West style holster, and was packing a revolver. Interesting.

The deal was pretty simple. After signing a waiver asserting that you aren't insane (yes, really), you pick a weapon and choose either 50 or 100 shots. They had a nice variety of WW2 era guns, like the British Sten, the American Thompson, the German MP40, and the American M3 Grease Gun. If you've ever seen a WW2 movie, you've seen an MP40. They are the German submachineguns that are usually (erroneously) called Schmeissers. Any Nazi villain worth his jackboots carries one in war movies. I decided it was so iconic I had to try it.

Jess hemmed and hawed a bit. He was drawn to the M16, which was big and black. I tried to convince him to try the Thompson (we were already planning on swapping weapons, so we could try two each). "Come on," I said, "This is a classic. Designed as a trench sweeper for WWI, it arrived too late to see combat. Gangsters loved it, and it went on to serve in WW2." Jess was not convinced. "There's something about that M16," he said.

"So you want the big, black cock of death then," I said.

Jess smiled. "Yes I do."

Our helper rang us up, and gave us each 4 magazines of ammo for our guns. Then he pointed to some targets and asked us each to pick one. On most days, you could choose from a tombstone, Saddam Hussein, or Osama bin Laden. Seems there had been a run on bin Laden, so they were fresh out. I opted for the more neutral tombstone, and Jess tried to get in the spirit of the place by choosing Saddam Hussein.

Then we got safety goggles and glasses and were led back to the shooting range. It was a spare affair, a small room with three stalls for shooting. When we entered, there were several young Asian guys with pistols finishing up. They were firing them sideways, "gangsta" style. It looked more like Lorezno Lamas on his lame old show Renegade but I kept that observation to myself.

At this point, Jess seemed a bit on edge. He confessed to our drawling assistant that he had never fired a gun before.

"Whut?!" he said, shocked. "Are you from California?"

"Uh, no," Jess replied. "I'm from Seattle."

"Oh, well that's alright."

The guy turns to me. He had heard me rattling off about the Thompson earlier, so he assumed I was a gun guy. "You've fired a gun before, right?" he asked confidently.

"Actually, no," I said. "This is my first time."

"Whut?! Are YOU from California?"

"Nope, I'm also from Seattle."

This seemed to satisfy him, though I'm not sure why. He ran through the basics. Pretty simple really. Then he sent Jess's target down to the end of the range and handed him the M16.

Jess took it a bit gingerly, put it up to his shoulder, and sighted it down the range. He fired off a tentative first burst.

"You hear that?" our assistant said, pointing down to Saddam, "He's calling you a sissy boy!"

Jess laid into it and got more comfortable. In no time at all, he had fired off his two magazines and shot up Saddam real good. Our assistant reloaded the M16 and handed it to me. I started with a short burst, to get a feel for it. Had more kick than I expected. Loud too, even with the ear protection. The target was all of 30 feet away, so it was easy even for a rank amateur to hit. I'm sure that was no coincidence.

After I finished with that, it was on the MP40. Compared to the M16, this was like butter. Barely any kick, easy to control for short bursts. I could see why these guns were so handy in street fighting. However, this one was having some trouble with the trigger sticking. While firing my second magazine, the gun just rattled on and on, shooting out sparks near my head. When Jess tried it, he had the same difficulty. Guess that's what happens to 50 year old guns.

Afterwards, they gave us our targets, and stamped each one with the gun we had fired at it. The shooting hadn't taken longer than 10 minutes, even with controlled bursts and 200 shots between us. I spent a few minutes looking around the store, checking out their book section in particular. Jess was antsy and clearly wanted to go. Later, over drinks, he told me that he felt like we were imposters in a strange and foreign land. He worried that at any minute, they'd discover that we were pinko, anti-war bastards that had voted against Bush. Maybe he thought they had a special graveyard in the basement for the likes of us!

We got back to the absurdity of the Strip an hour later. The whole thing was a bit surreal, though it made for a good story. So much so that come the next GAMA Trade Show, I ended up back there with Nicole and Hal, who wanted to give it a try. Our version of company bonding, I guess. This time I got to shoot that Thompson and a Sten gun (though they ruined this vintage weapon by sticking a laser scope on it for some strange reason). The Thompson turned out to be the best of the bunch. Sometimes, you've got to go with the classics.

Die! Die! You Thieving Bastards

Last week I checked my bank balance and found it at negative $5, which wasn't right at all. I called the bank and they ran through some recent charges and several came from online operations that I had no dealings with. Suspicious. Then I got my bank statement, and discovered these same two companies had charged me mulitple times over the past six weeks. There was also an iffy charge from Yahoo (me not having a Yahoo account or anything).

Today I called the bank back and found charges from these same companies going back to the end of August (about the time I was in Atlanta at Dragon Con). I contacted each company in turn to find out what the fuck. I found that these thieving scum had used all kinds of names and addresses to sign up for a variety of internet services. Turns out there was a $114 charge from the end of August, again from Yahoo, to set up a .biz website. Of course, they couldn't tell me what website. They wouldn't want to violate the confidentiality of thieves!

In midst of all this bs, this one guys says, "Looks like you were charged $29.95 for a three month subscription to our archive service. If you like, you can extend the subscription for three more months for only $14.95"

Incredulous, I said, "Why would I want to extend the subscription on something I didn't sign up for in the first place!? I'm trying to get my money back here." He thought maybe I'd want to "try it out." Unbelievable.

Naturally enough, none of these companies would actually refund the money. I had to then call my bank, provide them transaction dates and amounts, and declare the charges fraudulent. And, of course, I had to cancel my card.

My new card will arrive in 7-10 days. That's going to help me a lot when I'm in San Francisco this weekend.

Urge to kill...rising.

Guns Before Butter

I've had this inescapable feeling of deja vu over the last two years. Suddenly, it feels like it's the Reagan era all over again. Now this is probably not that surprising, as many of the members of Bush's administration were in Reagan's too and their agendas haven't changed all that much. Reagan and his cronies made it real easy to raise your fist in protest, and Bush's administration is the exact same way. Worse, in some ways. Reagan's trumped up war (Grenada) was small potatoes compared to Iraq.

What I find funny is how many 20 year old punk rock songs have become entirely relevant again. Take, for instance, Paid Vacation by the Circle Jerks.

I hope you're having fun
where's your uniform? where's your gun?
better rub on that suntan lotion
'cause you'll be fighting in the desert

it's not..Vietnam
it's another oil company scam

better salute that flag for Uncle Sam
get your money out, place your bets
it's Afghanistan!!
fix bayonets, check grenades
got enough bullets
got enough rounds to wipe out this place?
Were the infantry and the cavalry
parachutes fill the sky and bodies burn and people die

Or how about Buy This War by one of my favorite all time band, Articles of Faith?

So you say I got a choice
It looks the same to me
Exchange your culture exchange your tactics
Exchange your weaponry
Exchange your borders for spheres of hatred
And national security
Exchange your life consume this war
Sell it all to me

Stockpiles sit and wait for victims
No advertising cost
Vacations for free in jungle fatigues
Maintain democracy
The newest price is sacrifice
But practice what you preach
The end it looks the same to me
When no one leaves alive

National security is what we need to feel free
Someone's gonna bleed

Buy this war
Buy my life
Buy this war
Pay to die

Frontman Vic Bondi obviously agrees. He's just released an EP with two new solo songs, backed up with AOF classics Buy This War and American Dreams. I'm going to have to track that down.

The First Article

You'll note a new item on the sidebar, Game Writing, with something called "Lost House Fragments". This is the first article of many I plan to post here. From the Introduction:

In the early 90s my favorite RPG was Ars Magica, originally published by Lion Rampant, then White Wolf, then Wizards of the Coast, and finally Atlas Games (the current publisher). Amusingly enough, one of the reasons I got to know Nicole Lindroos was because of the game. She had been on staff at Lion Rampant and later White Wolf and I knew her name from the credits of many books (Lindroos stands out on a credits page!). Nik and I were friends for many years before things got romantic. We talked off and on about doing a book together and in 1997 we decided to pitch an Ars Magica book to Atlas Games.

I had long been dissatisfied with the way elementalism was handled in the game. The rules made it really difficult to play a wizard who could summon and control elementals, a rare failing in an otherwise fine magic system. I had ideas on how to fix the system, but I didn’t want to simply replace the previous rules wholesale. Many people used them as written, and it's no fun as a gamer to be told that your character is now obsolete. My solution was to do a combination sourcebook and adventure. The adventure was to revolve around the legacy of Beatrix, a powerful elementalist who was a contemporary of the founders of the Order of Hermes, but who was treacherously slain by Tytalus and Tremere before she could take her rightful place alongside them. Beatrix had developed a Unified Elemental Theory, but it had been lost on her death. In the course of the adventure, the player characters were to discover this lost legacy of magic and the secret of who killed Beatrix. The new rules for elementalism could thus be introduced into the game as a development of the setting, rather than by fiat. If characters were plucky, they could also try to found House Beatrix, the "lost house" of the title.

Atlas liked the proposal and contracted us to do "The Lost House." Over the next six months though, three things happened. First, I moved from Boston to Seattle; second, Nik and I got involved romantically; and third, I got hired as a RPG designer at Wizards of the Coast. I did some work on the book, but it was slow going. Nik and I consulted with Jeff Tidball (then the Ars Magica line developer, now the Lord of the Rings RPG developer) and we all agreed that perhaps the best course of action was to cancel it. While I think that was the right decision for the time, it’s too bad we never finished. I think it would have been a good book.

In this article you'll find what writing I did on the project. I enjoyed rereading them after five years (as honestly I'd forgotten all about this work!). Searching old disks can turn up the most interesting things.

What's It All About

When I wasn't working or watching John Huston movies today, I did some work for this site. The first article is just about ready and should be posted soon. I also did an "About This Site" write up that'll have a permanent place in the sidebar shortly. Figured I'd post in the interim, since people seem to be finding this already. Here it is:

If you are reading this site, chances are you already know that I run a game company and design games for a living. If you don't, you can learn about my day job at www.greenronin.com . I started this site because I was tired of always being "on the job." Whenever I posted to message boards and the like, I was representing the company. I found that I was constantly holding back on offering my opinion, lest I be accused of unprofessionalism. I found I longed for an outlet; somewhere I could say what I damn well pleased. Well, this is it. Here, you'll find a mishmash of stuff. Yes, there will be some game writing and game discussion, but you'll also find political thought, anecdotes from my life, ruminations on punk rock, and whatever else strikes my fancy.

The name of the site, Ex-Teenage Rebel, originally comes from a song by the Subhumans, from their Worlds Apart LP. Later, it was the name of my first punk rock band. It's an appropriate appellation for a variety of reasons (my age being the most obvious!), but mostly because the struggle of my 30s is to have a decent life without abandoning what I believe in.

So what happened to your old opinions?
The thoughts that you held for so long?
That inspired a thousand rebellions
Against what was and still is so wrong

You tell me you used to be "crazy"
And "paranoid" like I am now
You "soon realized there was no reason why"
So you gave up and soon settled down

What happened to you with your ideas?
What happened to all your hopes and fears?
Ex-teenage rebel--same old story

From Ex-Teenage Rebel
Subhumans
Worlds Apart LP, 1985
Lyrics by Dick Lucas