Thursday, April 29, 2010

A Modest Proposal for Oklahoma

A new Oklahoma law requires women to get sonograms before they can have abortions. Depending on the state of the pregnancy, the sonogram may be transvaginal. The doctor must turn the screen to the patient and describe the fetus: fingers, toes, heartbeat, etc. None of this is optional, even for victims of rape or incest. Proponents of the law say it is so patients are fully informed before going ahead with the procedure. An interesting position, since they just passed another law that makes it legal for doctors to lie to women about the health of fetus. A doctor can fail to mention a birth defect, for example, and cannot be sued for deceiving the patient.

Funny, isn't it, that the very same people screaming about tyranny from the Obama administration are fully behind mandating invasive medical procedures for others? I thought these stalwart conservatives were all about individual freedom and government staying out of their lives?

I therefore have a modest proposal for Oklahoma. I think their government should pass a new law to provide parity in their fine state. Once enacted, any man in Oklahoma who wants to buy a gun must first get a prostate exam. Furthermore, the doctor must turn a monitor towards the patient so he can watch a live feed of the whole procedure. Critics will say that I'm advocating controlling men's bodies but I assure that's not the case. I just think that before a man gets a deadly weapon, he should understand something about mortality. And what does a better job of that than having an old doctor stick his shaky finger up your ass for a few minutes?

So please, Oklahoma, consider this proposal. If women must endure an invasive medical procedure to do something that is fully legal in America, it's only fair that men do the same.

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1 Comments:

At May 5, 2010 9:22 AM , Blogger Snoozepossum said...

"Once enacted, any man in Oklahoma who wants to buy a gun must first get a prostate exam . . . . . before a man gets a deadly weapon, he should understand something about mortality. And what does a better job of that than having an old doctor stick his shaky finger up your ass for a few minutes?"


(LMFAO, bows with forehead to floor)

Brilliant! That gets Beer & Cookies!

I can see a practical aspect in asking a patient to speak with a neutral counselor for a few minutes; there's a lot of ignorance and manipulation out there, and no small number of women who have much more going badly in their lives than a problem pregnancy. "My boyfriend will gut me like a fish if he finds out I'm pregnant" deserves some discussion on several levels.

These questions seem to be more about framing the issue according to a particular moral code, regardless of the patient's beliefs.

What I find particularly hypocritical about this is the assertion that posting responses publicly is necessary for the professional study of abortion situations. Somebody check that pile for shrooms, please. The results don't need to be available to everyone for a medical or social researcher to have access to them.

Not sure which outcome would cause more problems; people in small towns who recognize someone by their responses, or people in small towns who THINK they might recognize someone by their responses. The only difference between The Rumor Mill and an oil spill is that you can clean eventually clean up an oil spill.

 

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