Don’t Mess With Dentists

Since I left WotC in 2002 I haven’t had any kind of decent health coverage personally or for my family. This is one of the parts of working in the game industry in America that is not so great. This week I finally bit the bullet and went to a dentist for the first time in four years. After the obligatory x-rays, the doctor was charting my teeth when his assistant shouted out, “That guy is in the hallway again!” He jumps up, pulls off his latex gloves, and hustles to the phone to call the police. Turns out the offices on their floor had been plagued by a thief with good lockpicking skills. This guy had broken into the dentist’s office a couple of times. Apparently his usually tactic was to steal stamps (which is odd) but on one occasion he took photographic equipment worth 2K. Since the thief had begun targeting the building, the dentist had installed new locks and video cameras. They had caught him on tape one day and had a screen capture of him taped to the wall.

So the dentist calls the cops. The thief is at the office right next door, trying to pick the lock. Apparently those folks are on vacation. The assistant gives a good description, down to the target bad he’s carrying. After a few minutes, the guy leaves, having failed to get the door open. The dentist then returns to me and begins once again to chart my teeth. Less than five minutes later, someone from another office in the building comes in and says the thief is in cuffs in the lobby. Then the cops show up to take statements and confirm that the guy is in custody. The dentist and his assistant are delighted. He returns to me again and apologizes for the delays and interruptions. I said, “That’s OK, this is the most exciting dentist appointment I’ve ever had.”

I was back there today for a cleaning and some fillings. I have two other visits to make to take care of everything. I’ve already spent all the money I had budgeted for this. I tell you, rates for fillings have really gone up since the mid-90s. I think I may fund the rest with some Ebay auctions of excess game stuff I have. That’d probably work a lot better than a “Will Design Games for Dental Work” sign.

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