I had a weird ass dream last night. I rarely have dreams so vivid they stay with me after I wake up, but this one was so odd that it did.
In my dream, it was the near future and there was a new breed of “reality” game shows featuring washed up celebrity guests. In one scene a group of celebs were sitting on wire benches playing poker. What’s strange about that? Well, none of them were wearing pants and at a certain point in the game they producers began to run an electric current through the benches. So they had to play poker whilst electricity was jolting their asses. Anyone that got up to escape the current lost automatically.
In another two celebs were suspended under a helicopter by rotating T-bars. The copter flew over Las Vegas (where else?) and the celebs had to manipulate their T-bars so they could perform various acts of sodomy on each other. The winning team would do all the acts the fastest.
On reflecting on these shows, which I’ve dubbed Death Penalty Poker (or perhaps Texas Hold On) and Sodomy Ride, I decided that TV has sunk low enough that these are entirely possible within only a few years. I mean, we’ve already seen shows like Wife Swap and the Littlest Groom (in which they marry off a midget so he can get laid; yes, really) so this stuff doesn’t seem much worse. So who will be brave enough to air these fine programs first, Cinemax or Showtime? And what washed up celebs should be the contestants?