Take the Lid Off the Pot…

There are days when I wish that I could just go off. The internet generally emboldens people. Let them spend $20 on something you’ve published and they feel they have the automatic right to say things to you via the internet they would never say to your face. We must receive such rants with a smile, embracing them like we’re happy to get this valuable feedback. To do otherwise would not be professional. But you know, it gets real tiresome.

You have a problem, fine, tell me about and I’ll give you an answer. You have a suggestion, great, happy to hear it. But do me the favor of treating my staff and me like we are human beings. It really wouldn’t kill you to show us a small bit of courtesy.

Here’s a letter I’d love to send one day. Well, that or the profanity filled rant I had in mind when I started this entry.

Dearest Patron,

Thanks very much for your letter of last week. You truly have amazing skills. The entire Green Ronin staff agrees that your pointed commentary on our latest project was top-notch. Since you clearly have all the answers, may we suggest starting your own game company? Don’t worry, it’s easy. If you have good credit, you’ll probably only have to max out two credit cards to do that extra large print run of your first game. And you’ll want it to be extra big, because surely all right thinking gamers will embrace your genius instantly and you’ll want to be sure to have enough copies for everyone. Make sure you print at least 10,000, double that if possible. Oh yes, the game industry will never know what hit it. You should launch it at GenCon and get the biggest booth possible. WotC may even have an old castle they can sell you. Then make sure to take out double page ads in all the game magazines in the months leading up to launch. And don’t forget the 1000 page tie-in novel! We’d do all this for you but clearly our humble operation is not big enough to do you and your ideas justice.

And as an aside, if you are literally blowing, no wonder you are having problems. What you really need to do is suck it. Hard. That should clear things up for you.

See you next GenCon!

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