At Least They Were Free

One thing traveling is good for is catching up on all the bad nerd movies I skipped in the theaters. On recent trips I saw on planes or in hotel rooms:

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Some nice production design (the Nautilus is cool, for example) but that’s about all that’s good. It’s amazing that people will pay money to license a good story, then throw it out and write another one. And Tom Sawyer as a pistol-packing Secret Service agent? Please.

Star Wars, Episode III: Yes, I finally took the plunge. It was certainly the better than the first two, but in the way that a headshot is better than being strangled. Again, some very nice production design, but attached to a movie with a narrative that simply fails. I was halfway with it until the scene when Anakin falls to the dark side. He’s trying to save the Republic and is fooled into helping to kill Mace. Then, literally an hour later, he is slaughtering Jedi children with a light saber. Did not buy that at all. Then the entire Jedi order is wiped out in about 10 minutes, shot down like chumps by a bunch of mooks. Bah.

Fantastic Four: This was the worst of the bunch. Oh god, what a piece of crap. I think it’s even worse than the Daredevil movie and that’s saying something.

Little did I realize that an even worse fate awaited me at home. Last night Kate suckered me into watching the Country Bears movie on the Disney Channel. Yes, the one based on the theme park ride that features singing anthropomorphic bears. It’s fine as a kids movie and I guess it could have been worse. I mean, I didn’t want to stab myself in the brain for every second of it. I will have to agree with Stephen Colbert on the bear issue though. Bears, you are on notice!

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