Any visit to a con makes me ask an age old question: what is it about such get-togethers that cause people to forget how to use the toilet? I seriously don’t get it. I lost count of the number of times I had to wipe down toilets and flush other people’s waste. By the end of each day at ComicCon I seriously feared using the bathroom because the stalls had become so foul. Is seeing girls dressed up in anime costumes so exciting that these guys just don’t have time to aim? Were they in such a hurry to get to the Jedi Stage that they had to plotz everywhere?

At the other end of the spectrum I went to two restaurants with bathroom attendants. Man, do I find them creepy. Look, I know how to wash my hands. I don’t need anyone squirting soap into my hands and giving me towels, and I’m certainly not going to tip for the privilege. Here’s an idea for bathroom attendants. They should hire them at conventions, sporting events, and movie theaters. Their job would be to check the stalls as the patrons exited. If they find the places befouled, they make the mad sprayers clean up their own messes. THAT is something I’d tip for.