Whose Landslide Is It Anyway?

The news just gets worse and worse for the Bush administration. They’ve found no WMDs, more soldiers have been killed after they announced “mission accomplished” than during the supposedly major part of the war, any notions of winning the Iraqis “hearts and minds” were quashed in Abu Ghraib prison, and of course they can’t escape the fact that they’ll be facing a decorated Vietnam veteran in November. I read an article the other day in US News and World Report positing that the election was going to be a landslide. Interestingly, they argued that it would go one way or the other, with the least likely outcome a very close race between Bush and Kerry a la the 2000 debacle.

At this point, with even other Republicans like McCain taking the administration to task, I can’t imagine a Bush landslide. I figure it could only happen if one of two ways:

1)Pictures of Kerry screwing a goat, a little boy, or Richard Simmons surface.

2)The Administration pulls an “October Surprise” by producing Osama bin Laden at the 11th hour. You could make a great conspiracy movie out of this one if you assume that bin Laden was captured two years ago and they’ve been holding him in secret for just this occasion.

Now if what we’re hearing is true, and Osama is hiding the tribal regions of Pakistan where no one can get at him, that means that really the election is Kerry’s to lose. Well, unless we’re treated to more election fraud. I’ve seriously wondered how we can get U.N. inspectors to watch over this election and make sure it’s run fairly. Not that I’m cynical or anything.

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